How does he do it?

I don't know how he does it. I really don't. He rises effortlessly up as if hinged at the heels. I know it is impossible but I am still envious. He is evil I know. Maybe if I were evil..... no that isn't it. When he wakes up he is ready to go . dressed even.
When I wake up it is a shambling, stumbleing mess. I sometimes can't even feel parts of my body. I stand there listening to the static in my head shouting at my body to move. My brain is a mental aquarium with all sorts of strange creatures the murky water swimming past the glass. This mornings memorable thought? "Is there a connection between Apnea and SIDS".  If i speak words scatter like little startled minnow or playful dolphins. This morning Antihistamine dressed up as Antibiotic and played Wheres Waldo somewhere in my hypocampus. Literally I can stand there willing my body to move and it not choose to listen.  Fingers refuse fine motor skills. My whole body has an ache to it. The kind of "all nighter" ache i use to get in College. Then there is the music. Often there is a song full on playing my ears when I wake. This particular morning......

                                 
                                                                                           Madonna's Don't Tell Me. Yup, all cowboy hats and hips stuck in my ears. I have woken up with far worse.  The most troubling thing on these mornings is the weight in my lungs and soreness in my chest. You know that feeling of water going down wrong and the lungs tighten .... a bit like that combined with muscle fatigue.
So how does he do it? How does Dracula rise pivoting on his heels from HIS grave and I have to scratch and claw my way to the surface like the countless nameless expendable walking dead?

El ronquido de los Muertos (The Snore of the Dead)

I snore.  It sounds so innocuous a confession... I snore.  A simple snore is not uncommon. In fact is it is kinda cute on some people, like a snoring puppy. It is surely annoying at best.  It surely wouldn't destroy relationships, ruin work or kill.
Problem is I snore El ronquido de los Muertos " the snore of the dead". No not the snore that wakes the dead to a cataclysmic brain eating spree. That would be vastly different and could qualify me as some kind of god or arch angel.  No I have Obstructive Sleep Apnea (OSA). I snore because my soft pallet falls against my airway and chokes off my breathing. In a way I "die a little" when I sleep.  I stop breathing until my adrenal systems startles me "awake".  And By the way, this makes me a LOUSEY zombie apocalypse suvival candidate. I fall asleep, the house starts rockin' , zed comes a knocking and bob's your uncle, I'm zombie buffet.
I didn't know that I had obstructive sleep apnea or the affects it has on my till my 42nd year. My Girl  demanded I talk to my Dr. after I kept waking with headaches and a sore throat. It was the last straw after countless sleepless nights of her elbowing me to "wake up your snoring". What she really meant was "Wake up you stopped breathing".  This in and of it's self is not unique. My ex-wife did the very same and i would often wake to find her on the couch in the mornings. I never connected the two because she never approached me when and in a manor that made any impact that this was a major problem.
One of the affects of OSA that I have become painfully aware of since the diagnosis is severe morning grogginess and a form of an auto pilot state.  I always thought this was just the way I am but now it appears that it is a matter of lower O2 levels in sleep.
The fact that my girl talked to me about it in the afternoon after the grogginess had pasted and laid out the facts then urged me to see the DR about it made all the difference. I went to the Dr, got  referral and went to an ENT for a sleep test.
I have see the Dr , done the tests, tried the machine and now know how bad things are. I have started this journal not only to track my progress through what turns out to be a dangerous and deadly medical condition but to help educate others to El ronquido de los Muertos.